Old Poetry III

Empathy is as strong as it is real
no less fragile was the feeling that moved with it.
 So, with two no-longer in balance, another change takes place.
emotion runs not as deep,
remembering and learning from the pains of the past.
Less nourishment is required
a smaller space is occupied.
I fight the allowance of complete happiness now,
for a past when it was good with you.

I am a product of my environment
and can adapt in most situations.
You touched me
we walked where I hadn't before.
we created new markers for my emotional standards
Now, I teeter with uncertainty locked in conflict.
A new balance must be within reach soon or
I may truly go mad.

Some days, as if it is any help
I hide in my notebook and for get the day
close my eyes to dream.

As though by design,
I feel empathic with you
and for the moment
without reservation
memories return and may are no weaker for their time spent sleeping
but, energized by beliefs that are true and sure
for as long as they last.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Don't be afraid 

Let me tell you what I'm afraid of:

I'm afraid you're the best thing in my life

I'm afraid I sometimes take for granted our friendship and closeness

I'm afraid that our love might change

I'm afraid if you wanted to

you could cut my soul,

afraid of the pain I would feel

another loss I would know.

I'm afraid of your dreams

I'm afraid that I even think about that.

I only tell you this

to tell myself

and recognize the vulnerabilities of the human heart

All joy cannot be put in only one place.

without you

my world lacks joy

and I don't know what to do about that.

There's a sadness that vials me

a certain sorrow that sits behind my eyes

You say, love you today if that's what makes me happy

Well today it hurts and that's what

I'm most afraid of.