Friday, February 1, 2008

Sub Survival

Some people get an icy feeling down the spine, their palms get clammy and they think their heart will suddenly stop just at the very thought of being a Substitute Teacher for a day. Anxious feelings make all kinds of other ailments exhibit themselves too, the red face, dry mouth, tight throat, and perspiration where one doesn’t normally perspire. These feelings of distress would better be caused by some real impending danger, like being stuck in a bear cave when the bear comes home, or, getting eating by a shark; funny how being eaten alive by another animal tens to reasonably support genuine horror. A bear’s brunch or a shark snack ground the basic instinct into our very core – ‘Death by Dinner’ is a totally understandable panic. So is being eaten alive by a bunch of 7th graders.
What is so scary about taking on a class full of kids introduced their hot-off-the-griddle hormones? Not a thing with the right attitude. The first misunderstanding is the whole ‘Take-On’ position. If you have the audacity to posture as “The Adult in Charge” with the odds at approximately 25 to 1, count your minutes because you’re on borrowed time.
Every classroom is a separate social group, which shares a common identity. Within them are characteristics as well as characters. To survive in this jungle of juniors is tricky and delicate, yet possible with the right tools and tricks. A little knowledge can go a long way. To make a nice day stay that way until 3:15pm, a few things must first be identified.
Culture in the Classroom
Evaluate the type of group, behavior (on task or not on task), Special Ed, development and maturity, language or terminology, history, and of course their willingness to accept change.
K-12 as they airily call it is actually 3 completely different worlds.
Group A: The little ones are the neediest. They’ll cry and tug for attention, they’ll look up with big eyes from their two foot height and have the most adorable expressions, and they will love you, and, throw tantrums within minutes of each other. They will spit up their milk at lunch and horse play till someone gets hurt. In six long hours you’ll proclaim it is simply not worth the money their paying, not even double. And, maybe not, you might quite enjoy being the ‘Mama Duck’ and caring for all the little ducklings, it might just be your cup of jello.
Group B: Junior high as it was called back in the day (Middle School) today, are the Hormone Horror years. Dealing with the short focus is the biggest test you will take today. If there is a leader, helpers, a clown in the group, identify them ASAP. Letting them work in groups may be certain death and is not recommended straight out of the shoot. There’s a saying in the sailing world: “It’s easier to shake out a reef than to put one in.” Stormy seas are not the time to work against the wind. Captains, start with a tight ship. The good news about subbing middle school and beyond is that no matter how bad it gets, it only has to be held together for 50 minutes …and you have five more chances to hone your survivor skills.
Group C: High school. These guys are all together from a different planet. Hatched from eggs, each one the center of the universe, shortsighted, and mistrustful of anyone over 25 (it used to be 30.) Keep you humor handy. Understanding wit is a sign of intelligence, they get instinctively that you’re smart, and, ludicrous discussions will positively make a long period more enjoyable. This age group is more goal-oriented for obvious reasons; they can finally see the light at the end of the school-tunnel, brighter days are ahead. They see college in their near future, roommates, choices, new horizons, and independence! But they also have shallow esteem-pools and fragile egos, so go easy. They are like new spring leaves about to experience their first hard weather storm. And they are a favorite among substitutes. By now they are thinkers.

To understand kids is to remember.
To remember is impossible as priorities change.
Just remind yourself, you were there once.
And believe it or not, respect goes further than control any day of the week.
Good luck.

This is opinion not fact.
Everyone is different,
that's what's so original about us...