Disappointment

Sub Survival

Some people get an icy feeling down the spine, their palms get clammy and they think their heart will suddenly stop just at the very thought of being a Substitute Teacher for a day. Anxious feelings make all kinds of other ailments exhibit themselves too, the red face, dry mouth, tight throat, and perspiration where one doesn’t normally perspire. These feelings of distress would better be caused by some real impending danger, like being stuck in a bear cave when the bear comes home, or, getting eating by a shark; funny how being eaten alive by another animal tens to reasonably support genuine horror. A bear’s brunch or a shark snack ground the basic instinct into our very core – ‘Death by Dinner’ is a totally understandable panic. So is being eaten alive by a bunch of 7th graders.
What is so scary about taking on a class full of kids introduced their hot-off-the-griddle hormones? Not a thing with the right attitude. The first misunderstanding is the whole ‘Take-On’ position. If you have the audacity to posture as “The Adult in Charge” with the odds at approximately 25 to 1, count your minutes because you’re on borrowed time.
Every classroom is a separate social group, which shares a common identity. Within them are characteristics as well as characters. To survive in this jungle of juniors is tricky and delicate, yet possible with the right tools and tricks. A little knowledge can go a long way. To make a nice day stay that way until 3:15pm, a few things must first be identified.
Culture in the Classroom
Evaluate the type of group, behavior (on task or not on task), Special Ed, development and maturity, language or terminology, history, and of course their willingness to accept change.
K-12 as they airily call it is actually 3 completely different worlds.
Group A: The little ones are the neediest. They’ll cry and tug for attention, they’ll look up with big eyes from their two foot height and have the most adorable expressions, and they will love you, and, throw tantrums within minutes of each other. They will spit up their milk at lunch and horse play till someone gets hurt. In six long hours you’ll proclaim it is simply not worth the money their paying, not even double. And, maybe not, you might quite enjoy being the ‘Mama Duck’ and caring for all the little ducklings, it might just be your cup of jello.
Group B: Junior high as it was called back in the day (Middle School) today, are the Hormone Horror years. Dealing with the short focus is the biggest test you will take today. If there is a leader, helpers, a clown in the group, identify them ASAP. Letting them work in groups may be certain death and is not recommended straight out of the shoot. There’s a saying in the sailing world: “It’s easier to shake out a reef than to put one in.” Stormy seas are not the time to work against the wind. Captains, start with a tight ship. The good news about subbing middle school and beyond is that no matter how bad it gets, it only has to be held together for 50 minutes …and you have five more chances to hone your survivor skills.
Group C: High school. These guys are all together from a different planet. Hatched from eggs, each one the center of the universe, shortsighted, and mistrustful of anyone over 25 (it used to be 30.) Keep you humor handy. Understanding wit is a sign of intelligence, they get instinctively that you’re smart, and, ludicrous discussions will positively make a long period more enjoyable. This age group is more goal-oriented for obvious reasons; they can finally see the light at the end of the school-tunnel, brighter days are ahead. They see college in their near future, roommates, choices, new horizons, and independence! But they also have shallow esteem-pools and fragile egos, so go easy. They are like new spring leaves about to experience their first hard weather storm. And they are a favorite among substitutes. By now they are thinkers.

To understand kids is to remember.

To remember is impossible as priorities change.

Just remind yourself, you were there once.

And believe it or not, respect goes further than control any day of the week.

Good luck.

This is opinion not fact.

Everyone is different,

that's what's so original about us...

Balance Is Our Only Hope

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...

It is about learning to dance in the rain.

Monta Lea

The following is an inspired e-mail and response

about life, loss, human kind and riony.

This blogger thought it worthy of note:

~Vince responds to Ken:
My compliments to you, Ken, and to the hangin' judge.
Amen.
It hasn't been a great year, but it has been a memorable year. I keep trying to figure out what gets us where we are, and why, but I can never get my arms fully around the losses and gains and figure out how they work. This may sound crazy, but I've read the Unabomber "Manifesto" 3 times (and may read it again) and, without the bombings, agree with almost everything in it.
I feel like we are a generation of tech-heads with no purpose for our use of technology.
I, personally, make a living by making bad stuff louder, so it can be heard by people who don't care.
Sometimes I help people record things that make no sense, that will be viewed by people who try to understand a concept that is designed by a clueless hierarchy that has no respect for their audience.
My favorite projects are musical productions that are so self-absorbed that no one can relate to them in any way other than to buy a copy so as to not hurt the feelings of the "artist".
I help people build home studios so that they can record awful sounding CDs with good equipment, therefore making them "audio engineers and producers". ~I actually heard a reporter remark about a dangerous situation that she was covering, "It was like being in a reality TV show." So, now reality is officially like TV.
Are you as proud as I am?
Okay, the year isn't over yet. Maybe all of this can be reversed before Dick Clark (who is made of space age polymers) drops his ball in Times Square, which I have done before Rudy turned the whole square into Disney North-East.
I miss Larry Moskal, Wayne, Gerry Bush, Kurt Vonnegut, my Aunt Betty, the real Dennis Hopper, Lou Gehrig, my dad, Benizir Bhutto, Rin-Tin-Tin, Thomas Jefferson, John Lennon, the Charmin toilet paper guy, some of whom left us in past years but continue to tacitly impact our lives on a daily basis.
I am, however, happy to have all of you to communicate with.
I still have my kids, as the hillbillies say, "I wouldn't trade them for a million bucks, but I wouldn't pay a nickel for another one just like them."

"There is no solace in fatalism. A believer is robbed even of the pleasure of shouting, 'Fuck you, I quit,' because he knows he was a born quitter and it would be only a matter of time before he threw in the towel, surprising no one, not even himself."
Hunter S. Thompson, Songs Of The Doomed

I wish you all a peaceful year, but don't stop thinking.

Vince

-----Original Message-----
From: Ken
Sent: Mon, 31 Dec 2007
4:57 pmSubject: 2008

Ken's year end message:
To many of us, perhaps all of us, 2007 was a desperately bad year. We've lost some very dear friends and relations that leave huge hole in our hearts. People we have know and loved whose passing was as untimely as it was unjust. It would be easy to dwell on these and, certainly, we all are. But those who have gone before us would surely rather have us celebrate their lives: the laughter, the tears, the insights, the foolishness.

Words are never enough to convey our losses. Our best hope is to continue those good works and lives that these folks have embodied. And, ultimately, to look to the future and carry on that lifestyle that so inspired us. To quote Judge Roy Bean,

"Time will pass and seasons will come and go. Spring with its waving green grass and heaps of sweet-smelling flowers on every hill and in every dale. Then sultry Summer, with her shimmering heat-waves on the baked horizon. And Fall, with her yeller harvest moon and the hills growing brown and golden under a sinking sun. And finally Winter, with its biting, whining wind, and all the land will be mantled with snow."

So, to that, I have only one wish for all of you who are on this mailing list:

Peace.

Ken

~*~*~*~*~*~

The author writes to conclude:
Isn't it good to have literary friends!?
I feel honored to have known and learned from, so many good, smart, creative and inspired people. Lucky if they thought the same about me. These 2008 thoughts are passed -from Ken and Vince- on to you and yours. It's just my way of keeping us 'edge-dwellers' in the loop of 'good-guy' friends we might have known. Where-ever all of us are, blown from one end of the global map to the other, I also send best wishes and many serendipitous moments for the New Year – and beyond.
peace
&
aloha
Dln
~*~*~*~*~*~*~